That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
