i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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