after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
