Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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