Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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