Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
