oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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