I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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