Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
