You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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