i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
