i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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