so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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