idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Quick, to the slutcave!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
