Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
