He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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