Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
