i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
