it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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