I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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