Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
