i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize