haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
and you fell through a lawn chair
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
