Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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