everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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