I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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