yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
