There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
