I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
