Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
