if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
