I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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