Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
