I can tuck mytits in my pants
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
