Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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