so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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