O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
