once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
