if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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