Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Drunk is not a location!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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