We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
