Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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