I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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