She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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