so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
