Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
