New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
