can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
