I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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