WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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